Thursday, December 9, 2010


Ok, most of you know me for my opinions and my willingness to be vocal about them, but this blog is a little different. This blog is FOR someone else. This is about Christmas Spirit and bringing that spirit into the home of a family who doesn't have much right now.

I understand MANY of us are suffering in one way or another and this time of year things become extra hard for some, but this family, The Keown's, have suffered more than most.

Michelle and Alan Keown were in a car accident caused by a BMW who cut them off. Their car hit a guard rail and then flipped over several times. The driver of the BMW fled the scene and suffers no financial responsibility. Alan was in a coma and when he came out of it, he found he was to be confined to a wheelchair for an undetermined amount of time, maybe forever. Michelle, a housewife & mother, fared better, but now she must take care of her husband who was the breadwinner.

The couple have two little girls, ages 8 & 5. The children have explained that they understand that Christmas is about family and NOT about gifts, but it breaks my heart to think they will have NO Christmas. Like their parents, the girls worry about the hard times the family has fallen on. Money is tight and they struggle to take care of the most basic things.

I am issuing a plea for help but please know, Michelle and Alan have NOT asked me to do this. The family's plight was brought to me by an outside source and I contacted Michelle to find out more information. They are people who have ALWAYS done for others and, in fact, the day of the accident, they were on their way home from the house of an elderly couple where they were volunteering time to fix up the couple's home.

I believe in Paying It Forward. I believe these are the type of people Pay It Forward was made for. They deserve Christmas as much as anyone else. They need our help.

If you can send gifts, gift cards, would be appreciated. I will not collect the items myself. You can send anything directly to the family who lives RIGHT in my neighborhood.

Michelle & Alan Keown
608 W. Schulylkill Road
Apt 325
Pottstown, PA 19465


Monday, November 22, 2010

Setting things straight

I've heard "DON'T STEAL THE JOY OF OTHERS" a few times lately. Sometimes directed at me but mostly directed at others.

Well, isn't THAT a funny statement?

Especially coming from people who constantly spout things like "You're only as happy as you make your mind up to be" and "Joy can only be found within oneself" and "I am the keeper of my own happiness".

IF these statements are true, the opinions of others, should NOT take away your joy.

Let's get some pesky things out of the way about me.

I AM opinionated.

I AM vocal.

I AM NOT a hypocrite.

I DO NOT do things just to please others.

I DO NOT blow sunshine up the asses of people to make myself more likable. that we got THAT out of the way, let's get back to YOUR joy.

KEEP your joy. If YOUR joy is YOURS, I can't have it anyway. I can't take it and run away with it and hide it.

If I can take YOUR joy, YOU weren't quite as happy as YOU thought YOU were.

So, get over it. Let me be me and you be you and I can have my opinions and you can have yours.

It's really rather easy.

Try may find you like it.

AND, if you can't do that and accept WHO I am, then maybe we're not the friends we thought we were.

Monday, November 8, 2010

For our MOST LOYAL fans...

So, it's been 5 days since the announcement that rocked the NKOTB & BSB Worlds and the fun hasn't stopped.

We are now a community divided with hurt, upset, and angry words being splashed across Twitter for all to see.

Some of us are happy & excited while others are disappointed & disenchanted.

Now, today, or rather, sometime last night, word got around about the NEW NKOTB fan club.

A fan club? Really? And to say "For Our Most Loyal Fans..."? WOW! That's pretty brazen and hurtful.

I guess we're NOT the MOST LOYAL fans if we don't buy this membership. I suppose the way we were all waiting for NKOTB's return in April 2008 meant nothing. I guess how we followed their individual careers and hung on faithfully for over 20 years meant nothing in the grand scheme of things because THIS is all just about business & money. Sleeping outside, waiting in rain, outdoor rain soaked concerts, lining up days in advance for a chance to meet the men we so love means absolutely nothing.

For 2+ years we gave our devotion, our time, and, yes, OUR MONEY. We did all of it gladly and gratefully. We didn't complain. We traveled to see them, some of us farther than others, but we did it. We welcomed them back with open arms and thanked them profusely because, well, we were so glad to have them!

They came back for US, right?

We were told that they were back to show the world we were NEVER some stupid, little, kids who didn't know what they were talking about. Isn't that the speech?

We were assured that it was all out of LOVE that they did what they did and we WERE APPROPRIATELY GRATEFUL!


Doesn't seem like it's all so cut & dry anymore, does it?

Now, it's MONEY. Each and every one of us, along with BSB fans, have become NOTHING but dollar signs. I can almost hear the "Cha-Ching" of the register in the distance.

My outrage, hurt, and disappointment isn't JUST about the money. It's not. I think I have proven that with the concerts I attended and the places I traveled to.

THIS is principle.

We've been told we are family, we are loved, we are NOT a dollar sign!

There was a statement made, not too long ago, that went like this "Our fans do not have to PAY to be fans."

Oh, really? I see.

So, now, our choice is to NOT pay and miss out OR PAY and get "perks" that we used to always get anyway.

Hmmmm. But, this ISN'T about MONEY, is it?

I'm NOT stupid. I know all of this has to be somewhat about money. BUT we were lead to believe the emphasis was on the love, the family...the emphasis was on US. Now, it's not. There's nothing special about our "thing" anymore. In fact, I don't think we have a "thing" anymore. I feel like our "boyfriends" just pretty much dumped us and moved onto greener pastures. Now, our "thing" includes a whole other band, their fans, and new fees.

Not very heartwarming and personal now, huh?

I love NKOTB. I've loved them since I was 12 yrs old and had NO idea why just looking at them made my tummy flip or my face flush when I got near them. I won't stop being a fan. I'm just crushed by all the "new" that has been heaped upon us. I feel foolish for feeling hurt in this way.

The phrase "Get in where you fit in" has been rolling around my head. We all, as NKOTB fans, KNOW who says that to us. Well, now, I am sad to say, I don't think there IS a place for me in the future of NKOTB. I feel as if I am being forced out and discounted. I DON'T matter. I mattered before OR, at least, I felt I did. Maybe THAT was MY naivete. That's my fault.

Shame on me for believing.

I won't be so quick to make that mistake again.

I won't give them my heart so that they can carelessly toss it aside & not treat it as the gift that I know it is.

I hurt to see so many of my sisters hurt. Just know, no matter where you stand on this issue, if you're my friend, that comes above all else. I actually keep my promises.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

NKOTB & BSB turn into...WHAT?

I never thought I'd say this, but I feel an odd kinship with SOME BSB fans. A kinship born of a feeling of hurt & betrayal.

Until now, I really didn't even consider BSB fans. I don't really KNOW them. I don't follow BSB, I don't KNOW BSB's music, and I don't have a desire to get to know either. They weren't ON my radar. I didn't even know what they looked like until June of this year.

When those four men invaded the stage at RCMH I seriously looked at my friends like "Who the hell are these guys?" MANY fans around us had the same reaction. I only KNEW because one of my friends, who happens to be considerably younger, sat to the top of her chair and her mouth dropped open. For HER it was amazing. She was seeing two bands she LOVED on stage, together. I didn't care much. Her reaction made me smile, though. I even took a pic of HER. I took some pics FOR her. I wasn't excited and I didn't sing or dance. In fact, I answered some texts and checked my Twitter account. It was no big event for me.

Fast forward to this Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010...NOW, it became a big event for me, but not a good one.

At 11:30 in the morning I was in front of my laptop waiting to hear news I simply was dreading. Waiting to hear what I had hoped were just silly rumors. When the announcement was made, I couldn't even wrap my head around it. Really? Did they really just DO this? Did they even listen when so many of us expressed sadness and upset over the possibility of this decision? Did they care?

In just minutes I went through a range of emotion but in the end, I was just left feeling sad & disappointed. I had been let down by the 5 men I had followed jointly & individually for over 20 years. Men that I believed in and thought would NEVER sell out for money and would NEVER sell me...sell US...out. I felt stupid and I felt used. I felt as if I was part of the process for them to get what they wanted. Just a stepping stone on their way to becoming what they needed to be. I had NEVER felt that way before. I had only associated NKOTB with positive thoughts before now.

So, the bottom dropped out of my fangirl world and, maybe, that was ok. Maybe it was time it happened.

I mean, really, they aren't super heroes. They're regular guys. They have families and obligations and jobs outside of this group I love. If they choose to merge with BSB, who the hell am I to berate them for it? So, I didn't berate them. I didn't slam anyone. I didn't go after BSB. I DID express my hurt & disappointment. I DID find others who shared my views. I can't change what's happening. I can't make this tour that I think is wrong on so many levels, end.

But, I can be upset. I can feel let down. I have that right.

NO ONE can tell me I haven't got that right. AND, I am not a negative person. I don't hate either of these groups, especially NKOTB. I love NKOTB.

People want those of us who are upset to shut up or disappear. That won't happen. Rude blogs directed at us & tweets telling us to get over it and quit complaining won't help. We're not complaining. We know this is what it is. We just want our voice heard. All the people who support the merger are vocal. We haven't been able to get away from the incessant chatter over it. If the SQEEEEEE'ing and giddyness isn't leaving, then our disappointment isn't going anywhere just yet either.

I know many women keeping their feelings to themselves for fear of being bashed by their "friends". They feel the same way I do. They feel betrayed and they don't know what they'll do when tickets go on sale. Sure, we'll all get over it. Things will settle down and we'll all go back to talking about things on Twitter that don't evoke such volatile emotion.

Until that time, I ask that we all practice tolerance. We can do it. We can respect one another's differing opinions without being bitchy or nasty. I have faith in us.

And...that's all I have to say. I hope those of you who didn't understand, now understand a little better. I tried to sum this up as best I could and not write a novel. ;)

If you got his far...thanks for reading...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Immaturity cannot be tolerated

I am a 35 year old single mother. I have a fullfilling life with friends and family and the ocassional guy that I meet out. I am NOT a 15 year old high school girl wanting to play petty games with petty people.

I am sorry if certain people feel the answers they have gotten from me are less than stellar. I don't claim perfection. I only claim to be who I am and oftentimes I am a chaotic mess. I try very hard to keep an open mind in my day to day dealings with people. I also try to understand and see things from the view that they might see things from.

HOWEVER, with that said, there is ONE thing I will no longer tolerate. I will NOT entertain the blatant abuse of my friends by people who feel they have been "slighted" by me in some way. Do NOT go through mutual friends to try and gain the answers you seek from me. AND, do NOT think my answers will change just because you harass them. In fact, it makes me even more certain that my decision to cut YOUR negativity from my life, was the correct one.

I am NOT anyone special. I am NOT the person you need approval from to continue on with your life. Get over it. We can't be friends for whatever reason BUT we can be civil. We can conduct ourselves as the adults we are. We can respect ourselves and our friends and behave in the manner in which our age dictates.

Please stop making yourself look foolish and immature. Please think before you involve people who never needed to be put in the middle of whatever mess you think is still ongoing. Please stop HURTING people to get what YOU want. It's unacceptable. It's immature. AND, frankly, it is beneath you.

I certainly hope the people behaving in such a deplorable manner begin to think their actions through. They only stand to lose friends and respect in acting this way. It's sad.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I know a girl...

I know a girl and you all should know her, too. Maybe someday you will. She's one of those people everyone wants to know and, honestly, everyone should know.

I know this girl and she's funny, sweet, and kind. She's clever, snarky, and quirky in her ways. She's beautiful both inside and out and she has a personality people are simply drawn to like moths to a flame.

I know a girl who is hard on herself and judges things she does more critically than most people I know. She strives to be her best in all that she does and whether she knows it or not, she succeeds.

I know a girl who dances through life with a smile, even over the pitfalls, and when she has to, she struggles with grace.

I know a girl who is proud, giving, and, yet, can be selfless.

When that girl reads this, she'll know this is about her. She'll know.

I love her. She lives in my heart. She makes me smile, laugh, and thank God every day she is a part of my world.

She is my sister. My friend.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My thoughts


What's that mean?

The definition of hate is: to dislike somebody or something intensely: to dislike somebody or something intensely, often in a way that evokes feelings of anger, hostility, or animosity.

There has been an awful lot of this feeling circulating lately. I don't know why and I don't know why, as adults, it has to be expressed in the manner it has been, but, it's there.


That is something people claim NOT to be, but then they spew hate.

So, what IS a hater?

The definition of a hater is: A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock somelse down a notch.

Haters hating. Haters saying they aren't haters. Innocent people being picked apart for being who they are. All of it is getting ridiculous and, quite honestly, exhausting.

I was recently told by a dear friend of mine that "I have to step away because my skin isn't thick enough for all this." That broke my heart.

I have other friends who consistently apologize for being attacked by haters. WHY are THEY apologizing?? The ones spreading the lies and anger should be apologizing and ceasing their childish banter! These GOOD people should not be apologizing!

Now, some of my more elevated sisters, those that want to forgive everyone, would disagree with my next statement, but I'm going to say it anyway.

Haters are NOT good people.

No. They are not.

I know those of you who will cringe at my statement and sigh and shake your heads at me. I know you look for good in everyone, but, haters are NOT good. They lost their "goodness" somewhere along the way. They, frankly, have lost their way. They don't know how to interact properly with the rest of the human race.

They need a Time Out.

They need no one to listen to their sewage.

They need the audience to disappear.

They need alot, in my opinion, but Twitter is not where they're going to find it.

I won't leave Twitter and my sisters won't leave Twitter. Even with the hate.

You wanna know why?

Because...WE are stronger than the haters. WE are stronger than the hate. And, we have something the haters lack.

We have love.

Damn, that sounds so hokey and simple, but it's not.

We have it. They don't. And, I'm a little sad for them. But, not sad enough to care about what they have to say.

With that...I am going to close my laptop and spend some time with my family now that the soccer game is over and they're done yelling ;)

Have a good one...even you haters. LOVE!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Another BLOG account??

Yes, my faithful friends, I have created another blog account.

I know, I'm a pain in the ass. I get it. But, my other account is strictly about my single mommydom and this is more WHOLE LIFE!

Yeah, aren't all of you lucky! You get to read about my daily crap on Twitter and then come to my blog, if you want to, and read about my foolishness here as well.

Bless you for reading it and even caring. I love you all. Even those who disagree and dislike what I say or dislike me. It's all good.


Just to clear a few things up...

Now, most of us know, IF we're in the NKOTB sister/brotherhood, that BSB took the stage with our guys Saturday, 6/19/2010, at Radio City Music Hall.

I say "Good for them." & "How nice."

Some of my "sisters" are VERY upset that NKOTB and BSB may tour together, while others are THRILLED. Then, there are those of us, who are...well...not on board, but we don't care to hate either. I fall into that last category. I am a puzzle to some of my sisters who have come to me, privately, and asked why I wouldn't like to see NKOTB and BSB tour together.

My answer...just to clear things up?

I do not care for the music BSB puts out. I do not hate them. I do not hope their comeback sinks like the Titanic. I do not personally care about their group or music. That's all.

I really don't think I would buy tickets to see NKOTB & BSB on tour together so it makes me a little sad that this "rumor" is in the air and that "lead players" have "unofficially confirmed" that it will happen. I love those 5 Boston Boys. I have loved them forever and WILL love them forever.

Will I see them on stage with BSB again? Not likely.

Does this mean I will never SEE NKOTB on stage again? *sigh* That makes me terribly sad to think that my ONLY option is to see them with a group I don't really care for.

I do NOT want to compete for tickets with BSB fans. Our competition among the sisters and brothers of the New Kids community is already VERY intense. We sit at our computers on ticket release day with tension that rivals the President having to launch a nuclear attack on a nation. Once our tickets are purchased, the relief is so great we oftentimes laugh until we cry. It's a very stressful and emotional process because we LOVE our guys so much and want to be there in the best seats possible to see them!

Additionally, I have never been a "boy band" fan in the sense that I LOVE all the music put out by pop boy band sensations. I am an NKOTB fan. That's all. It's simple.

I am hearing that women are planning to buy tickets to the shows but not sit in their seats until NKOTB comes on. Ok...that's an option, I guess.

I am also hearing that some of our sisters plan to sit while BSB performs. Another plan, I suppose.

I don't think those options are for me right now.

I think not fighting for tickets and just not going would be for me IF the two bands do decide to tour together.

I can't even name you ONE BackStreet Boy...really. OH, wait, I lied! Saturday night I was told by my sweet, 25 yr old, BH sister that her fave is Nick. Damn...wasn't he married to Jessica Simpson? I didn't see HIM on stage! I dunno. *shrugs*

So, for all you lovely sisters who ADORE BSB...I am happy for YOU if this comes about.

For all you hating on the idea...don't hate. It's just not nice and rather silly.

But, for those of you, like me, that are disappointed and want to cry at the thought of fighting for tickets and having to deal with the fans of another boy band merging with ours...I extend a hand to you.

We'll get over it. It's not the end of the world. It's a concert for crying out loud.

Secretly, though, I hope it's all "possible" chatter and it goes away as the time passes. That's all.

So, those are my thoughts. Take them. Leave them. Hate them. LOL! Hate me. Love me. Whatever. It's just how I feel.