Monday, November 22, 2010

Setting things straight

I've heard "DON'T STEAL THE JOY OF OTHERS" a few times lately. Sometimes directed at me but mostly directed at others.

Well, isn't THAT a funny statement?

Especially coming from people who constantly spout things like "You're only as happy as you make your mind up to be" and "Joy can only be found within oneself" and "I am the keeper of my own happiness".

IF these statements are true, the opinions of others, should NOT take away your joy.

Let's get some pesky things out of the way about me.

I AM opinionated.

I AM vocal.

I AM NOT a hypocrite.

I DO NOT do things just to please others.

I DO NOT blow sunshine up the asses of people to make myself more likable. that we got THAT out of the way, let's get back to YOUR joy.

KEEP your joy. If YOUR joy is YOURS, I can't have it anyway. I can't take it and run away with it and hide it.

If I can take YOUR joy, YOU weren't quite as happy as YOU thought YOU were.

So, get over it. Let me be me and you be you and I can have my opinions and you can have yours.

It's really rather easy.

Try may find you like it.

AND, if you can't do that and accept WHO I am, then maybe we're not the friends we thought we were.

Monday, November 8, 2010

For our MOST LOYAL fans...

So, it's been 5 days since the announcement that rocked the NKOTB & BSB Worlds and the fun hasn't stopped.

We are now a community divided with hurt, upset, and angry words being splashed across Twitter for all to see.

Some of us are happy & excited while others are disappointed & disenchanted.

Now, today, or rather, sometime last night, word got around about the NEW NKOTB fan club.

A fan club? Really? And to say "For Our Most Loyal Fans..."? WOW! That's pretty brazen and hurtful.

I guess we're NOT the MOST LOYAL fans if we don't buy this membership. I suppose the way we were all waiting for NKOTB's return in April 2008 meant nothing. I guess how we followed their individual careers and hung on faithfully for over 20 years meant nothing in the grand scheme of things because THIS is all just about business & money. Sleeping outside, waiting in rain, outdoor rain soaked concerts, lining up days in advance for a chance to meet the men we so love means absolutely nothing.

For 2+ years we gave our devotion, our time, and, yes, OUR MONEY. We did all of it gladly and gratefully. We didn't complain. We traveled to see them, some of us farther than others, but we did it. We welcomed them back with open arms and thanked them profusely because, well, we were so glad to have them!

They came back for US, right?

We were told that they were back to show the world we were NEVER some stupid, little, kids who didn't know what they were talking about. Isn't that the speech?

We were assured that it was all out of LOVE that they did what they did and we WERE APPROPRIATELY GRATEFUL!


Doesn't seem like it's all so cut & dry anymore, does it?

Now, it's MONEY. Each and every one of us, along with BSB fans, have become NOTHING but dollar signs. I can almost hear the "Cha-Ching" of the register in the distance.

My outrage, hurt, and disappointment isn't JUST about the money. It's not. I think I have proven that with the concerts I attended and the places I traveled to.

THIS is principle.

We've been told we are family, we are loved, we are NOT a dollar sign!

There was a statement made, not too long ago, that went like this "Our fans do not have to PAY to be fans."

Oh, really? I see.

So, now, our choice is to NOT pay and miss out OR PAY and get "perks" that we used to always get anyway.

Hmmmm. But, this ISN'T about MONEY, is it?

I'm NOT stupid. I know all of this has to be somewhat about money. BUT we were lead to believe the emphasis was on the love, the family...the emphasis was on US. Now, it's not. There's nothing special about our "thing" anymore. In fact, I don't think we have a "thing" anymore. I feel like our "boyfriends" just pretty much dumped us and moved onto greener pastures. Now, our "thing" includes a whole other band, their fans, and new fees.

Not very heartwarming and personal now, huh?

I love NKOTB. I've loved them since I was 12 yrs old and had NO idea why just looking at them made my tummy flip or my face flush when I got near them. I won't stop being a fan. I'm just crushed by all the "new" that has been heaped upon us. I feel foolish for feeling hurt in this way.

The phrase "Get in where you fit in" has been rolling around my head. We all, as NKOTB fans, KNOW who says that to us. Well, now, I am sad to say, I don't think there IS a place for me in the future of NKOTB. I feel as if I am being forced out and discounted. I DON'T matter. I mattered before OR, at least, I felt I did. Maybe THAT was MY naivete. That's my fault.

Shame on me for believing.

I won't be so quick to make that mistake again.

I won't give them my heart so that they can carelessly toss it aside & not treat it as the gift that I know it is.

I hurt to see so many of my sisters hurt. Just know, no matter where you stand on this issue, if you're my friend, that comes above all else. I actually keep my promises.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

NKOTB & BSB turn into...WHAT?

I never thought I'd say this, but I feel an odd kinship with SOME BSB fans. A kinship born of a feeling of hurt & betrayal.

Until now, I really didn't even consider BSB fans. I don't really KNOW them. I don't follow BSB, I don't KNOW BSB's music, and I don't have a desire to get to know either. They weren't ON my radar. I didn't even know what they looked like until June of this year.

When those four men invaded the stage at RCMH I seriously looked at my friends like "Who the hell are these guys?" MANY fans around us had the same reaction. I only KNEW because one of my friends, who happens to be considerably younger, sat to the top of her chair and her mouth dropped open. For HER it was amazing. She was seeing two bands she LOVED on stage, together. I didn't care much. Her reaction made me smile, though. I even took a pic of HER. I took some pics FOR her. I wasn't excited and I didn't sing or dance. In fact, I answered some texts and checked my Twitter account. It was no big event for me.

Fast forward to this Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010...NOW, it became a big event for me, but not a good one.

At 11:30 in the morning I was in front of my laptop waiting to hear news I simply was dreading. Waiting to hear what I had hoped were just silly rumors. When the announcement was made, I couldn't even wrap my head around it. Really? Did they really just DO this? Did they even listen when so many of us expressed sadness and upset over the possibility of this decision? Did they care?

In just minutes I went through a range of emotion but in the end, I was just left feeling sad & disappointed. I had been let down by the 5 men I had followed jointly & individually for over 20 years. Men that I believed in and thought would NEVER sell out for money and would NEVER sell me...sell US...out. I felt stupid and I felt used. I felt as if I was part of the process for them to get what they wanted. Just a stepping stone on their way to becoming what they needed to be. I had NEVER felt that way before. I had only associated NKOTB with positive thoughts before now.

So, the bottom dropped out of my fangirl world and, maybe, that was ok. Maybe it was time it happened.

I mean, really, they aren't super heroes. They're regular guys. They have families and obligations and jobs outside of this group I love. If they choose to merge with BSB, who the hell am I to berate them for it? So, I didn't berate them. I didn't slam anyone. I didn't go after BSB. I DID express my hurt & disappointment. I DID find others who shared my views. I can't change what's happening. I can't make this tour that I think is wrong on so many levels, end.

But, I can be upset. I can feel let down. I have that right.

NO ONE can tell me I haven't got that right. AND, I am not a negative person. I don't hate either of these groups, especially NKOTB. I love NKOTB.

People want those of us who are upset to shut up or disappear. That won't happen. Rude blogs directed at us & tweets telling us to get over it and quit complaining won't help. We're not complaining. We know this is what it is. We just want our voice heard. All the people who support the merger are vocal. We haven't been able to get away from the incessant chatter over it. If the SQEEEEEE'ing and giddyness isn't leaving, then our disappointment isn't going anywhere just yet either.

I know many women keeping their feelings to themselves for fear of being bashed by their "friends". They feel the same way I do. They feel betrayed and they don't know what they'll do when tickets go on sale. Sure, we'll all get over it. Things will settle down and we'll all go back to talking about things on Twitter that don't evoke such volatile emotion.

Until that time, I ask that we all practice tolerance. We can do it. We can respect one another's differing opinions without being bitchy or nasty. I have faith in us.

And...that's all I have to say. I hope those of you who didn't understand, now understand a little better. I tried to sum this up as best I could and not write a novel. ;)

If you got his far...thanks for reading...