I never thought I'd say this, but I feel an odd kinship with SOME BSB fans. A kinship born of a feeling of hurt & betrayal.
Until now, I really didn't even consider BSB fans. I don't really KNOW them. I don't follow BSB, I don't KNOW BSB's music, and I don't have a desire to get to know either. They weren't ON my radar. I didn't even know what they looked like until June of this year.
When those four men invaded the stage at RCMH I seriously looked at my friends like "Who the hell are these guys?" MANY fans around us had the same reaction. I only KNEW because one of my friends, who happens to be considerably younger, sat to the top of her chair and her mouth dropped open. For HER it was amazing. She was seeing two bands she LOVED on stage, together. I didn't care much. Her reaction made me smile, though. I even took a pic of HER. I took some pics FOR her. I wasn't excited and I didn't sing or dance. In fact, I answered some texts and checked my Twitter account. It was no big event for me.
Fast forward to this Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010...NOW, it became a big event for me, but not a good one.
At 11:30 in the morning I was in front of my laptop waiting to hear news I simply was dreading. Waiting to hear what I had hoped were just silly rumors. When the announcement was made, I couldn't even wrap my head around it. Really? Did they really just DO this? Did they even listen when so many of us expressed sadness and upset over the possibility of this decision? Did they care?
In just minutes I went through a range of emotion but in the end, I was just left feeling sad & disappointed. I had been let down by the 5 men I had followed jointly & individually for over 20 years. Men that I believed in and thought would NEVER sell out for money and would NEVER sell me...sell US...out. I felt stupid and I felt used. I felt as if I was part of the process for them to get what they wanted. Just a stepping stone on their way to becoming what they needed to be. I had NEVER felt that way before. I had only associated NKOTB with positive thoughts before now.
So, the bottom dropped out of my fangirl world and, maybe, that was ok. Maybe it was time it happened.
I mean, really, they aren't super heroes. They're regular guys. They have families and obligations and jobs outside of this group I love. If they choose to merge with BSB, who the hell am I to berate them for it? So, I didn't berate them. I didn't slam anyone. I didn't go after BSB. I DID express my hurt & disappointment. I DID find others who shared my views. I can't change what's happening. I can't make this tour that I think is wrong on so many levels, end.
But, I can be upset. I can feel let down. I have that right.
NO ONE can tell me I haven't got that right. AND, I am not a negative person. I don't hate either of these groups, especially NKOTB. I love NKOTB.
People want those of us who are upset to shut up or disappear. That won't happen. Rude blogs directed at us & tweets telling us to get over it and quit complaining won't help. We're not complaining. We know this is what it is. We just want our voice heard. All the people who support the merger are vocal. We haven't been able to get away from the incessant chatter over it. If the SQEEEEEE'ing and giddyness isn't leaving, then our disappointment isn't going anywhere just yet either.
I know many women keeping their feelings to themselves for fear of being bashed by their "friends". They feel the same way I do. They feel betrayed and they don't know what they'll do when tickets go on sale. Sure, we'll all get over it. Things will settle down and we'll all go back to talking about things on Twitter that don't evoke such volatile emotion.
Until that time, I ask that we all practice tolerance. We can do it. We can respect one another's differing opinions without being bitchy or nasty. I have faith in us.
And...that's all I have to say. I hope those of you who didn't understand, now understand a little better. I tried to sum this up as best I could and not write a novel. ;)
If you got his far...thanks for reading...